Refreshed and Much Better

Hey there, wow, i haven’t wrote in a while. A lot has changed, and I am happy to say everything changed for the better. Let’s start with the fact that my super duper hard year ended and I was off to recharge in the States. My summer was beyond fantastic, made more friends, bonded with olds ones, grew spiritually, and was super loved by everyone. I got to experience new things, and do old things I haven’t done in a while. Words cannot express how drained I was before the summer, how much I lost sight of myself- and I gained it as soon as I reunited with my loved ones. I just felt like God was washing off the blood and healing my wounds, it was a long battle and it was finally over. I gained my sane mind back. hahaha

After the summer was over it was time to head back to the mission field, “this year is gonna be better” I said as I was on the plane, wiping my tears away cause I missed everyone already. Fast forward to winter and I started realising that God was speaking to me again, I was going through things,simple things but a little stressful none the less. And now as I sit here, satisfied after finishing my black currant tea steeped in milk, I take a deep breath in and out, cause I am a little stressed haha, but I will be just fine. I trust God and I am excited to see what’s the next thing He’s gonna show me.

 

All Things Work Together For Good

I had something that I wanted to happen, and I finally got the answer and it was a no. At first, I was upset. Chances were slim and I knew it might have not happened, but I got my hopes high.

The next day, I thought about it and saw that it’s not the thing that I was upset about but where it got me. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted that thing, but not as much as where it gets me. I can’t explain it, but I completely understand why it was a no. And I am so glad it is. However, I hope that I will get to the place I want. And I’m still praying for that. And I can’t wait to see what God will do.

But the day I got the news, my mom took me out for comfort food. At the end of the day, my best friend Skyped me. We talked and shared our moments of “when God says ‘no'” and I was happy, I felt so much better after talking to her.I was so blessed that she Skyped me, and was there for me. That day was amazing even though I had bad news. I was reminded how everything works for good, how bad news can be great ones. And when God says “No” it’s for the better.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

A Little Memory, A Lot Of Gratefulness

When I say the word ‘missionary’ you might have an image in your mind of a person in a jungle, fighting off cannibals with a baby in one hand, while preaching the gospel. Okay, maybe not that exact image but some people think that it’s always that adventurous.

While in some places it is, in some we are just living normal lives, and others are in between. I’ve had a pretty normal life, although I’ve had a few adventurous and I still do.

A few of the adventures I’ve had are, the fact that we do hide our church, and it’s actually gotten worse. But it’s not that bad, don’t worry. I’ve seen things in our church that a “normal” person wouldn’t see.

As a PK and MK, I saw more than usual. Can’t really go further about that, but I’ve seen the ups and downs of people, and it’s incredible. You grow a lot seeing how people are, on a different level than usual. Being an MK and PK puts you under a microscope and at the same time puts you on a platform. So, you will be respected but you will be judged quickly.
I was out on my balcony yesterday, and took a deep breath of fresh air, and a bunch of memories flooded in. Childhood memories like me and my mom looking out at the ocean(yes, we live near the ocean). Or going to my best friend’s house. Even memories of going to the airport to go to States at 6 in the morning.

I just took a second and realized how much I love the smell, and the memories that I have here. I’m so lucky to be here. To get to know a second language (even though it’s a pain sometimes, haha), to know this place, to know it exists, to know the smells and sounds and to truly appreciate what I have…because, boy, have I come to appreciate things most people take for granted.

I’d never thought about it till recently, but I think one of the reasons I’m always so there and responsive for my friends is because I miss them and don’t take them for granted and make sure to talk to them as much as possible. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I’d do that if we were in the same country, but I think it added more gratefulness. Things that happened here with my best friend, made me appreciate her more than ever. I rarely take things for granted, I appreciate the smallest things, I love adults(never had that teenage phase of liking only my peers. My circle was always wide. I blame homeschool. (jk, I thank it) I’m outgoing and I just am a positive person. The people I’m with surrounded with affected me greatly.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I’d do that if we were in the same country, but I think it added more gratefulness. Things that happened here with my best friend, made me appreciate her more than ever. I rarely take things for granted, I appreciate the smallest things, I love adults(never had that teenage phase of liking only my peers. My circle was always wide. I blame homeschool. (jk, I thank it) I’m outgoing and I just am a positive person. The people I’m surrounded with affected

The people I’m surrounded with affected me, the things I went through, my parents, being an MK and PK.  My best friends who I became friends with because I am an MK have affected me immensely. All of my friends affected me immensely.

…But I got off track, so, my point is, so many things I’ve grown to love, the person I am, my friends, all happened because of where God placed me. Sure, there are days where it’s hard being on the mission field, where I feel totally isolated and I count the days till I go back. But when I have those bad days, I lean on God. I am best friends with God because I’m an MK.

I can’t thank God enough for everything He has done. For my life, for everyone in it, for everything that has happened, bad and good, they are stories to tell. And honestly, I can say that my life has a lot of movie parts. Like, seriously!    I have God to thank for that because I always wanted to have a movie life or movie like moments. Ha, ha.
I’m so grateful God has made me a missionary. I love every single thing about my life, so I wouldn’t change a thing.

To Fear Or Not To Fear That Is the Question

Have you ever realised how much fear pressures you? It makes everything seem so small and insignificant. All of a sudden, the all powerful God,who can do everything, seems so small. You start to worry because you think you are in control of your life, feeling as if you have to take care of everything and that you will miss something. Trust me, you’re not missing anything! God isn’t small!! In fact, He is so in control! You aren’t gonna miss anything He has planned for your life.

Sometimes, it becomes so bad that you think God doesn’t care about you. But He does. He loves you ever so much and wants what’s best. But patience isn’t always our strong suit. As soon as something we want to happen doesn’t happen immediately, we turn into those mothers that panic that their child didn’t answer their phone when they called….and the child is at school and can’t answer the phone during class. Not picking on the moms, but we all have our irrational moments of fear.

You know what’s the most repeated commandment from God is?  Fear Not Because He knew exactly how you were gonna feel. Whenever we feel terrible, whenever we cry, He feels the pain and cries with us. I know you feel afraid and helpless, but God knows exactly how you feel and He is not idle. Don’t feel ashamed, more scared, or sad about how you feel. Instead,reach out to God, take a deep breath, and know that He is God. God’s going to bless you, fear will be over. You won’t be scared anymore when you come to God.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

 

Merry Christmas, everyone!!!

It’s the end of Christmas day and I felt inspired to write something, so here it is:

Sometime during  Christmas day, I go “Wow, my best friend was born today” and I start thinking of what I have gone through with Him,all that He has given to me, and how much He really means to me. The thing is, as soon as December starts, I start thinking about Jesus’s birth and all about Him, just like people usually do when it’s their friend’s birthday. Maybe this sounds ridiculous but I want Him to have the best birthday ever. Honestly, this month, this day, is usually the perfect time to have a nostalgia moment with God and reminisce about the past.I can’t imagine living my life without Him. I depend and trust Him so much that I would do terribly without Him. He’s always pulled me through the rough days and blessed me so much after my trials. He’s polished me,heard every single outcry, heard my middle in the night tears, and sees exactly who I am and still loves me,warts and all. He’s given me the most amazing friends and gives me amazing adventures. If you feel down today, if you feel like God didn’t answer your Christmas requests or He didn’t solve your problems before Christmas so you could have a carefree Christmas. Despair not, He has a reason why your problem(s) are still there. And why you didn’t get exactly what you wanted. He’s gonna give you so much more and He will bless you immensely today and show you His love. He was born for you after all. So take a deep breath and know that someone who loves you immensely,your best friend, was born today for YOU!!!!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AGAIN!! HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!

Best of Both Worlds

When I heard that catchphrase in a show, I instantly thought how much I could relate to it. Although, my life wasn’t quite as the main character’s, the phrase stood out. Because MK’s definitely have two worlds. They are different and often, we like one more than the other. We see the differences and the worlds often don’t connect.     So here’s a little about me:

I’m 16 years old. I have been an MK all my life, and my mission field is a HUGE culture shock when I come back from the States. How? Why? All those questions will be answered in posts to come. There’s lots of experiences and thoughts I’m excited to share with you guys. You’ll see my best of both worlds.